Mentorship for Mental Wellness with Bridget Cravens-Neely

02:09
Hello everybody, welcome to Coffee Can't Fix Everything. This is a show where we talk about mental health over a cup of coffee. I have someone that is, this is the perfect conversation to have with the OG. Uh-oh. I love it though, I love it. I could take that, I will take that. Take it. I will take it. CEO, Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Central Iowa.

02:37
Bridget, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for the invitation. Of course. When I was going to ask you already, but like I'm in this, I don't want to make this about me. Because I told somebody I tend to make these my therapy. Like I'd be asking, I have questions like, yo, what'd you think about this? You know what I mean? But when you have somebody that's done a lot, it's hard to do it to you because you want to absorb information.

03:06
And that's why I wanted to talk about. I have many years ahead of you, so you're all good. We're all good. Mentorship. Yeah. And the health benefits of that, and all that, but the mental health benefits of that. And the article that I sent you, and I know I'm sorry, I'm diving all into it already. No, you're fine. But the article I sent you really spoke to me. I'm like, yo, what about, well, first of all, I want to get your thoughts on the.

03:36
the mental health benefits of mentorship and all of that. What do you think of that? Because I'm sure you've been a mentor, you've been a mentee, you've seen both sides. What are your thoughts on all of that when it comes to mental health? So specifically for me, I do believe strongly that mentors are a key component of another human being's mental wellbeing as well as their own. And the reason I say that because it's reciprocal.

04:06
So just as much as the mentor is giving to the mentee, the mentee is giving to the mentor. As much as the mentor is receiving from the mentee, the mentee is in turn also receiving from the mentor. And so it's reciprocal and I break it down that way because it's not just a give and

04:36
and receive, you've got to be able to do both. That's what makes the most successful mentoring relationships is when there is when you go into it with a mindset that this is going to be reciprocal. This is not just one way where I'm giving and the other person is receiving. No, it is truly about making sure there's a relationship there. Between those two people, there's got to be a connection point, there's got to be a relation.

05:05
There's got to be a relatable point between those two individuals in order to successfully have that mentoring relationship. Do you feel like a lot of people go, I know I have never thought about it that way. Now I do as I've had some time and I'm sure you've probably have said that before, but like I've never gone into a mentor mentee thinking that way. And it is hard.

05:35
hard. Do you feel like it's hard? But it's not. You don't think so? No, no. What's I think the hard part about mentoring is you, if mentoring is hard for you, then that means you're truly invested. And that means you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. Because when you are emotionally invested in somebody else and another human being, that's what gets hard. Yes. See, the the act of listening.

06:05
The act of not wanting to fix that's hard. It's so hard. That's the hard part. Is when you can't, you have to hold back and fix. You have to coach. You have to lead. You have to guide. You have to nurture. You have to help give direction. But ultimately is up to that mentee.

06:33
to take the action because that's when it's going to stick, that's when it's going to last, that's when it's sustainable. Right, has anybody ever said that when they're mentoring somebody that they feel like their mentee's success is on them? Yeah. And they're having the stress of that? Yes. So like, how do you deal with that stress? That's tough.

07:04
And honestly, I don't have an answer to that. I don't think there is a great answer. I don't have an answer to that because again, if you are emotionally, psychologically, mentally invested in that person, your heart is invested in that person, then that's an automatic. It's just like having a...

07:28
younger sibling or a sibling, that person becomes a part of your family. They become a part of your immediate network. And that you want your family members to succeed. And you have siblings? Yep. Okay. Do you take their success as a celebration opportunity? Absolutely. Do you take their failures as a devastating art?

07:56
a devastating occurrence? Yes, absolutely. Okay. So same thing with a mentee is that if that connection is truly there and that relationship and that bond is strong, that's going to naturally happen. That's a natural human reaction. That's a natural human emotion. But where you...and I know you're a very faithful person too. The way that I alleviate that stress is I can't want it more.

08:25
than he or she does. Right. I can't want the success more than he or she does. What I can do is open doors and show and present opportunities and help prepare and get ready and teach to guide them down a certain direction. But ultimately they have to take that step. Right. And I think about, I have actually, I have a little sister right now.

08:55
through our program. And we're in the early stages of getting to really getting to know each other where she trusts me and I trust her and where she feels like she can be able to say things to me and tell me things, you know, we're gradually cause I'll ask her about her day. And so we finally gotten past the good. Good. And total silence. And I'm like, okay, here we go. You know, and it's hard having raised all sons.

09:22
It's hard for me to be able to connect with a little girl because I haven't been a little girl for many, many, many years, right? And I have not, and I haven't raised girls. Do I have nieces? Yeah, but you know, those were nieces who maybe liked the same things I liked and things like that. And we do have some things in common, which is what has helped us be matched, but just being able to take my 54-year-old self and put my, and,

09:52
revert back to my 10 year old self and tap into those, those feelings, emotions. What am I going through right now? And just being able to understand and relate and think about, okay, what are the things that I like to do when I was 10 years old or what were the things that were important to me when I was 10 years old and what were some of the dreams and goals that I had as a 10 year old, you know, and I have to put myself back in that mindset in order to be able to get that connection. And so.

10:19
all of our activities or the things when we get together are not just, oh, we're gonna go to the movies, or we're gonna go bowling, and it's not constantly doing those types of things, but it's sitting in, she loves math, I have math degree, let's do some math together. Or, I'm a tomboy, but I loved gymnastics when I was her age, she loves gymnastics, okay, let's figure out you know, what things we can do to help you get better at gymnastics. So, it's finding those connection points, so.

10:49
I think that was something that I had a hard time trying to figure out being a mentor. I've never had a hard time finding a mentor because a lot of my mentors growing up were like family members. I know. So like, you know what I mean? But mentoring someone that's like not in my family, I found that hard to like try to find something that...

11:13
we can do that wasn't always me taking them out to do something fun. Like let's go, let's go to, that's why you go to the movie. Yep. Let's go to do this X thing. I feel like there are some, there obviously are some good benefits to that. But like to somebody who wants to be a mentor and wants to like change a child's life in a way, how do they figure out, like how do you get to that point to where you can do something outside of that? So first and foremost,

11:44
What's the number one thing that a child needs? Didn't know that's consistency, didn't know somebody's there. Consistency, there you go, right there. It's the consistency. If you are consistently going to show up for me, okay, I know you're real, I know you're legit. Young folks today can see through all the BS. They can see through all that BS, and they'll just be like.

12:11
All right, I'm testing, you think you're testing them. They are testing you. They got you red off. Automatically. They have sized you up that quickly. Like, okay, I'm gonna test you. I'm gonna push, yep, yep. So I'm gonna use a personal experience and share, so just to kind of get back to the mental health aspect. So growing up, I was a latchkey kid, meaning that...

12:41
So single mom raised by single mom. We lived, I found this out as an adult, lived below the poppening line. But my mother did everything that she possibly could to make sure I had a roof over my head. We had food in the house. I had clothes on my back. Even that mean.

13:02
I can't tell you the number of times she would come hang with good willed clothes and I'm like, we're gonna get this, mom, this isn't popular, I can't wear this to school, I'm gonna be teased, I'm gonna be ridiculed, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was. So there was a lot of anger that I had built up as a child. One, because I had to spend time alone, but I hated going to babysitters. By the age of nine, I was like, I'm done with babysitters, mom, can I please, please, can I please just stay home? Just give me a key, let me be in the house. I'll do everything that you tell me to do.

13:33
So that's when I became a latchkey kid, meaning you let yourself in. I never knew what that meant. Yes, that's what a latchkey kid. I'm so happy you explained that to me. That is a latchkey kid. I've heard that a lot. It's a very old term, but yes, that is exactly it. Wow, okay. So I spent, and being her only child, spent a lot of time by myself. And so as I grew up through my elementary school years and I'm looking around, I'm like, man, there's one of my best friends had the...

14:03
Couple of my best friends had the life that I wanted, which was two parents in a household and a sibling. You know, cause they, but there were challenges that came with that, right? And responsibilities that came with that. Then once I got to high school, I had just built up all of this kind of.

14:21
Not, I don't know if it was anxiety, but I guess you could describe it as anxiety. I had built up this anxiety, but this anxiety came out in the form of anger. So people look at me now and they're just like, they think, no, I can't believe it. I was one angry young teenager from my preteen. So all those pages, those- I could believe it. Look, Miss Bridget, you get this. I can't help you.

14:50
You get this look on your face. Who aware? It's almost like the ancestors are saying, it's OK, baby. You can't. It's so, I was like, maybe I can. And people tell me about this look, and I'm like, I don't know what y'all talking about. But OK, I guess it's there. But anyway, so it was one of my mentors who was my high school cheerleading coach.

15:20
So that was, she became a core mentor for me because she was the first person to sit me down and tell me about my anger and how my anger, if I did not get it under control, how it was going to continue to hinder me from achieving and receiving the different accomplishments that I was pursuing. Wow. And when she told me that, I was like, whoa. So the situation was, I wanted, I was...

15:50
Um up for I was in the running to become cheerleading captain as a sophomore Okay, and so The reason she said that she could not Select me was because she was afraid of how I would react With the other team members when they didn't do things right because I was like the drill sergeant I was constantly like look y'all come on. Stop playing. This is no joke But they also had two parent homes. They had two parent households

16:19
They had money, so they were more fluent. They had access to transportation. Oftentimes I was walking or bumming rides. So it was like, so their lives were so much different than mine and that built up a lot of resentment for me. And so when she told me you are the number one candidate, everyone on the squad chose you, but I said I made the decision.

16:48
not to select you to be captain because your anger, I was concerned about your anger and it scares me. And I was like, okay, but I sat. It's kinda eye-opener. Eye-opening, very revealing and extremely humbling. And so I had to sit back and I had to start dealing with myself. So when we talk about coping mechanisms. Right. When we start, first and foremost, the first coping mechanism is awareness.

17:17
You have to understand what is the trigger, what is the source. Especially when you have that anxiety, when you have that anger built up. And there was a lot of, I lacked self love. I did not love myself. I can say that now, because I understand it. But back then I did not have any idea as to what self love really was. And those terms for really thrown around like that. They weren't really thrown around. And it's, but.

17:46
It was also the pressures of I was expected to perform. I could not step out of line. I lived in a bubble because I looked just like my mother and my mother had the same type of expectations put on her. So I had by default the same expectations being put on me. And so everybody knew our family, even though we were the small tight knit family, everybody knew who we were and what the expectations were because they knew how my grandmother raised her for her children and therefore she knew.

18:15
they knew how my mother raised me. And so I did that parties, did not get to go out, socializing, I had, this was my friend group. I had five people that I was allowed to be able to hang out with. Five. Five that my mother would trust me. Like, yep, it's okay, that's fine. She was extremely strict.

18:39
And so, but in her focus and her purpose and her reason for that was because she did not want me to make the same mistake she made. Right. Which was becoming a parent too young. Right. She was in college when she got pregnant. So too young, but it disrupted her future. Right. And so now she had to shift and she had to pivot.

19:04
She didn't want that for me because she wanted to be able to see me achieve everything that she knew I was capable of. That's real. She put women in my life. So because she was so strict, she was like, the nurturing part, I can teach you, I can teach you about self-respect, I can make sure you have the skills, I will make sure you have all the opportunities in the world, but when it came to the nurturing aspect, that was not her strong suit. So she put her best friends in my life. I'm like, okay.

19:34
This is who you're going to learn that from. Here's a blessing to acknowledge that. But that's not like this is not where I'm at. But she never told me this. It was something that I it was and she intentionally. And we had this conversation before she died. She's that that was my intent. I was like, I understand now. Right. It took me this long and took me to become an adult before I could really understand that you sacrificed.

20:02
letting other people help raise me, which was huge for her. Yeah, yeah. Wow. So when it comes to mental health, those women poured into me to help me be strong, to help me be resilient, to help me be resourceful, to help me learn to love myself, to help me understand and see what I was capable of, see my potential.

20:30
keep me out of trouble by redirecting me when they saw me go down a path that you might, come on back, come on, come on, come on, come on. These were all of my, who I call my yaiyas. A lot of us in our culture and in our community, we call them TTs, but you know, so those are my TTs, those are my yaiyas. And my yaiyas would step in and be like, and when I would step out of line, they would be the ones who would scold me with love.

21:00
Right. And so because of those mentors, my mental health became better. I became less angry. And I started seeing myself in a better light. I started seeing the things that I could accomplish. I started seeing, and I started realizing those accomplishments. They are the ones who helped me understand and discover my leadership skills.

21:28
and not shy away from them and not divert them or avert them. Right. And that took you down the path to leading an organization. That took me down the path to wanting more. It's like, yes, I kind of like this leadership thing. And it's not from the standpoint of being the boss and telling people what to do. It's leading the way. Right. It's like, this is telling y'all this is the path. And that's how I discovered.

21:56
that it is very hard for me to live in the moment sometimes because as soon as we have one accomplishment, I'm off to the next. It's off to the next accomplishment. You're right. It's off to the next accomplishment. My biggest, one of my biggest opportunities for improvement for me personally is being able to celebrate my successes. Mm, well, it's thinking a little bit. And being able to celebrate our successes. Because I'm already thinking five, six steps down the road. Mm.

22:22
Just kind of marinating the moment, just a little bit. It's like just in the moment, just realize this. Right. Just feel this, soak it in. Do you feel like you get anxiety when you try to do that? Yes. I do, I do, because I'm like, okay, enough, all right, yep. But y'all, it's like, but, but, but, but, but, you know, I'm already seeing, you know, here's.

22:50
but we can go so much further. But we can do this. Right. Yeah, no, I get that. Yeah, but getting back to like with what we do for Big Brothers, Big Sisters, this is why I came here. This is why I said yes when I got the call. Yeah. When I got the call to serve, this is why I said yes. Oh yeah, you was ready. I was mentally ready. I had been, my mother was a community activist as well as a community advocate. And she was always, always, always an advocate for you.

23:20
And so that it came naturally for me the advocacy so that piece of it was already ingrained in me but being able to and I was working in corporate at the time and you know, we're coming up on my two-year anniversary, but it's of being in this role, right and I Still to this day remember sitting in my sitting in my home office sitting at my desk getting a phone call

23:50
Hey Bridget!

23:53
I really like what you're doing right now. And because I knew the person so well who called me, I was like, okay, what's up? I know you got something that's just up your sleeve. Why? Yep, why are you asking? And so we got into the conversation and I said, you know what, I thought about it. And it's really funny because literally two weeks before that, I was praying one night and I said, okay, Lord, because I just, I didn't feel fulfilled.

24:22
I had, I had, there was something missing. It wasn't necessarily an emptiness, but it was something missing. And so I prayed and I said, am I serving the way that you want me to serve? Am I serving whom you want me to serve? And am I serving where you want me to serve? And if the answer to that is no, show me where I need to be. Two weeks later, phone call. Look at that, look at God. Look at God.

24:51
Wow. Look I got, but if I wasn't in that mental state to be self-aware, to know who I am, to understand and know my purpose, and be willing to recognize it and listen, when that opportunity came around, I would not have been here. But this was everything that I have been, everything that I have gone through from when I was a little child has prepared me for.

25:20
this opportunity to serve the young people of this community who don't have that person. Right. Who are struggling with anxiety, struggling with self-doubt, struggling to love themselves, struggling to see their worth, struggling to understand their purpose and why they were put on this earth, and constantly feeling, having feelings of regret.

25:48
because they haven't fulfilled who they are. They're confused. Right. Some of them are confused, some of them are lost because they don't have someone, their person, consistently in their lives to say, I see you. More importantly, I hear you. And most importantly, you are worthy. Right. Can we, kid, that is so, yo, that's so dope.

26:19
Can we talk about that person real quick? So the person, I know a lot of cats that wanna be mentors. And I've heard you talk about, not only are you the CEO of Big Brother, Big Sisters of Central Iowa, you have your own small business. You are. That my husband runs. That your husband runs. I'm gonna give credits to everybody that credits do. Right? But let's just say you can agree that you are a busy person. Okay. Right?

26:49
One of the reasons for not mentoring that I fear and I have given is I'm too busy. And I don't say out of, I just understand that I know it takes consistency and there were times and chunks in my life where it's like, I don't feel like I could give what I think is necessary to give to somebody. So I'm gonna, and here's, so here's the debate that I give to people when they say they don't have the time.

27:19
When are you ever going to have the time? Yeah, I understand that. And well, that's the only reason why I said yes to Pathways. And that's the answer. I'll make sure I have those links and everything so we can see them. Because I knew I wasn't ever going to have the time. If you were to ask me, do I have time, I was no. Mm-hmm. You're off rip. But hey. So here's what I have learned is.

27:44
because I think of my time in corporate. I spent 30 years in the insurance industry. During my time in corporate, I mentored so many different people, so many of my colleagues who were younger than me, some older than me. And I found time for that. The commitment.

28:09
to a young person, and I'm not gonna say just a child, but I'm gonna say to a young person. Commitment to a young person is different because it requires more compassion. It requires probably more emotion. Because you gotta connect and you gotta build that relationship. And because of the influence that adults will have over that young person.

28:38
I think that is the number one thing that scares them. Right.

28:44
Yes. But...

28:48
What I have come to learn since being in this role is the main things that they want is what we said at the beginning. They want consistency. They want somebody who cares genuinely. They want somebody that they can have a real authentic relationship connection with who's not going to hurt them. Uh...

29:17
They want to send, they want somebody to show up. That's it. That is it. When...

29:29
You've been on both sides of it. You've been a mentor. A lot of the mentors have been the mentee on. And I understand how being mentored can build your confidence. That was it. Do you feel like, what's the reciprocal of that to someone who is the mentor? There are definitely health benefits of pouring into somebody.

29:56
What has that experience been like for you, deporing somebody, and what have you gotten from that? And, um, and, um, yeah, I, I think she nailed it. To be able to see someone, another human being take advice, especially, and for me, my advice is usually based off of lived experiences. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not one of those, um.

30:23
I'm not one of those people or one of those mentors who's going to say, Hey, you need to go do this. If it's not something I've either experienced myself done myself or willing to do myself. Right. And so when you see someone else take the advice from your lived experience and apply it to their own lived experience in their own way, but it's in essence the same thing. It's based off of what you've

30:51
Showing them and exposed them and revealed to them. Right. And they apply it and they win.

30:58
Mayon. Indescribable. Mayon. Talk about pride. Talk about your own self-confidence. Because it's validating. Right. It's validating.

31:19
I can almost see it as like a, how can I put this? Cause this is gonna sound crazy, but hear me out. I can almost see it as like a co-sign to like what you're meant to do. That makes sense. You know? Yes it does. Yes. Like, yo, like this was supposed to happen this way. And I was able to give something to somebody. Yes.

31:49
Mm-hmm. Yes, absolutely. It's not the I did that it's the You did it you did it you did it Yeah, you didn't have the confidence that you could do it, but you did it And the fact that I got to be a part of that right I got to contribute to that Right, do you feel like there's an age limit on having a mentor? No No

32:17
I don't think my expression. Okay, so I don't think that my children have ever heard me say this but They are three of my strongest mental first whoa talk about it

32:34
So having obviously raised them and watching them grow, watching them each develop into their own individual persons, each one of them has a very, very distinct and different personality, which means I have a very different relationship with each one of them. And so there are things that they will do say, or that I'm like, tell me more about that. Because I'm trying to get into.

33:02
I'm trying to get into the mind and learn and understand how does someone your age, how does someone in your profession, how does someone in your situation, how do you handle this? How do you navigate? How do you deal with this? How do you deal with that? How do you commit? What are you thinking? What drove you to that conclusion? And it allows me to just sit back and listen like, okay.

33:28
because then I can take what I've learned from each of them and apply to what I do every day now. Right. You know, that's so real. I just, I was in this exact same spot meeting with my mentee today, just here, as she's a college student, she wants a drink. And the conversation we had, it was kind of similar, but it was like, yo, you know more than what I, people think, yo. These young folks today.

33:57
Oh my god. Oh my god. They are so bright. They're so intelligent. They're so wick on. They talk about perception. Like we said, sizing it up. Like, I know what you about. And I may or may not deal with you right now. I don't know. We'll see. Yes. But you know, one thing I want to ask you too about kind of the mental health,

34:27
mentoring is when to say, hey, I'm not, I'm not the one to answer that. Yeah, I've had a mentor tell me like, hey, I am, I am not an entrepreneur person. You are not going to get great advice from me from there. Yep. Right. And I think that's so great. How do you know when to be like, yo, this is not if you don't know the answer, say I don't know. And you help get them to the right

34:54
Your job is not to have all the answers as a mentor. So hear me, your job is not to have all the answers as a mentor. Your job as a mentor is to be able to make connections, to be able to remove obstacles, to be able to give advice, give direction, introduce, make associations, resources, referrals,

35:22
That's what a mentor is there to end and care. Right. And do that from a place of caring. You are not gonna have a, no human being on this earth has the answers to every single situation, question, issue, problem. Not possible. Yeah. One of the best things you could say is I don't know. Say, I don't know. Let me see if I know somebody in my network. Let me see if I have somebody in my network.

35:50
Who might have the answer or know a person who knows a person right and then let's go sit and talk with them together You have the conversation you out, but I'll be there. I'll be there right by your side So you don't have to do this alone That's so real because there there are times. Yeah, I feel like I'm just talking about myself personally and Feeling like I I have a I I've always been in the helping profession. I've always had that I've always wanted

36:19
I'm a fixer. I always want to fix. You come to me for some advice. I'm thinking of the solution as you're talking. I know that about myself. I don't like it. You gotta shut it off. It's all right. I understand that about myself. But I think now, as I've gotten older and I'm wanting to be more of a better mentor, I guess, or just to kind of just support people in general,

36:48
being able to shut that off was hard, but I will say mentally, it's taken so much stress off of me. Like, oh, I don't have that, no answer? All you gotta do is listen. I can just listen. Let me ask somebody I know. Make the connection and keep it moving. Or flip the script. What do you say?

37:17
Oh. So you just described all of this. Here's everything that you said that validates active listening that you heard and it shows curiosity. This is everything you just told me. What would you do? What would you do if take yourself out of the situation? What do you see? So everything that you just said is right here on black. It is, you know, on paper written down in black and white. What's your thoughts?

37:48
to just see it and help them come up with their own solution because when they come up with their own solution, they're more likely to be like, oh, I had the answer all along. What does that do? It builds confidence. Such a boost in confidence. Boost in confidence, like, okay. Boost in confidence, boost in self-worth, boost in self-awareness. Yeah, and you got somebody right there saying, like, I knew you can do it. Anything that'll be a bigger boost. Sheering you along the way. Yeah, all the way.

38:19
the way yep this has been so I have so much more but I know you don't have that much time but we're good before we get going I want to start asking my guests to those that are listening people from all over the place are listening watching what is one thing that you do for yourself for your own mental health take your time yeah this no this is this is a very tough question for me because

38:49
I do not do a good job of taking care. And because of a couple of health scares, in the past few years, I've had to say, okay, Bridget. You know, God's doing one of these numbers right now. Like, you need to be paying attention and listen to me. So what I do now is,

39:19
Once, like when I listen to my body, that's the hamper one thing, is I listen to my body. And if my body is saying, Bridget, this ain't it. Something's off, something's out of whack, then I lay my butt down. I just, and I'm okay with that now, of not doing anything. So I have like maybe one weekend a month, where I don't have any commitments on the weekends.

39:49
And that's my time to say okay if there's I'll flip through the TV I'll turn to streaming chance see if there's anything new something to make me laugh something to fill my heart right something to just like really just recharged me nothing too serious because it's like I don't need anything heavy

40:16
but being able to do that. Some people like to read, some people like to sit on the desk or just sit in the sun and meditate and things like that. Honestly, my thing is just being able to just be still. And if I can have half a day a day to just be still, that's how I kind of read, that's how I recharge. Yo, just doing nothing is so nice. Oh my God.

40:42
It is so nice. Oh my God. And you know, my kids are young, so I don't have a whole lot of weekends to do nothing. So just doing nothing is great. But you know what I find very interesting though too, is every person that I've asked that question to that has a hard, very parallel to yours and what you do, have never been able to answer that question. Really? It's always been hard. It's always been a hard question. Yeah. Because you're always. You're always thinking of everybody else. Thinking of everybody else.

41:12
everybody else to do it. For some people it's very easy, but for a lot of people it's like, man, you know what, I don't do a whole lot for myself. I think we need to get to... I would encourage maybe two days a month would be a good... You know, I had, when I had an anxiety attack and you didn't realize I was having an anxiety attack and it was happening during COVID. And I immediately was like...

41:42
Okay, it took me over so strongly that I literally heard God's voice say, sit down. Sit your butt down. And guess what I did? I sat down and I sat down for like, what ended up being like 45 minutes and I didn't realize 45 minutes had passed.

42:07
I was that wound up that I just didn't have any idea. And at that point I was like, okay. I was like, no, I did not like that feeling. I never wanna have to experience that feeling again. So when I feel like just start getting overwhelmed and I know my stress and I'm again, paying attention to my body. Pay attention to yourself, right. I started really, really paying attention to my body. So I know my stress plates and I know when my body's stressed. For the past two weeks,

42:38
all tight just like this. And I could not shake it, could not loosen it, could not work it out. And...

42:49
Today I'm not tight. So whatever was tensing me up has relieved itself. Oh, good, good. Whatever it was that was mentally stressing me out has been resolved. Could I put my finger on one thing? Really? Nope, don't know what it was, but it's good now, it's cool now.

43:14
Alright, that's all. It's cool now that I just know that, you know, I'm like, oh, okay, it's gone. It's alright, I'm good. So we're good, now it's time to move on, just... On to the next. Awesome. Well, Bridget, thank you so much. Yeah, thank you for the opportunity. This was really cool. For anybody listening and watching, wants to learn more about you, Big Brother's Big Sisters of Central Iowa, and I will make sure I have all these in the description of everything.

43:43
But where can they reach you? Actually, I'm not really active on social media, except LinkedIn. Go to my LinkedIn profile, look me up. I'm on there as Bridget Craven's Neely. And that's usually the best way, because I'm usually posting stuff that we're doing for Big Brothers, Big Sisters, or my Proud Mom moments. I always do those Proud Mom moments. Yeah. But you got something.

44:11
Boy, I got some dope kids. They do there. Yeah, that's a pretty amazing And I have an amazing amazing amazing husband who I could not be able to do everything that I do without his support and without his understanding of Yeah, how much I? Need to do this because of how deeply ingrained in me it is that's so important

44:40
Nope, I'm not gonna ask the question. You put a part two, like, I'll put stuff right there. But this, like I said, I sometimes I treat this almost like my own life. I got something else to say. And I'm with the OG, so I'm gonna ask. Like I was told to ask. Hey, close mouths do not get fed. Do not get fed. You lucky I ain't got a notebook up here taking notes. I was, what the?

45:07
Oh, okay, thank you again, everybody. Thank you for listening. I am not a mental health therapist, but I want you to get support. If you need support, links will be in the description of this episode. But if you don't go there, 988 is a great resource. We want you here to find that. This is Coffee Can't Fix Everything. I'll holler at you next time.